My Dusty Mind

Throughout my life I have hidden myself from the world. I had no obligations to share my thoughts and no real future ambitions. All I knew how to do was to write. In my childhood, people often encouraged me to write about my feelings, and to share how I must have felt in certain situations. Quite frankly, I felt it was none of their business, but because I was so nice I decided, what harm would come from writing?

Turns out, I really enjoy it. I enjoy moving a pencil or pen across a sheet of blank paper. I enjoy the thoughts pouring out of me even if sometimes they just get lost in the air. Writing, in a sense, has saved me. It helped create a magical world inside my mind where I could escape to if things were not quite right. I imagined heroes and villains, mystical creatures, nobility, and courage. Over time I began to see things in a different light.

Inspiration comes from within me. People often ask me, how did you manage yourself when you have suffered so much? In truth, I have no idea, but I know I never lost sight of hope and family. I grew up with three siblings and I often saw myself as a motherly figure. I took it upon myself to care for these children and give them a life worth living. Life is a gift and I wanted to make sure that that gift was taken care of. When I look back at my past, though there was much suffering, I do not think I could change a thing. The events of my past have made me who I am now. They have given me strength and courage even if it is just in small amounts. They have also given me experience which I find valuable not only life but in my writing.

When inspiration runs short, I look outside and see an entire world of beauty. Sometimes that is all it takes. Sometimes I fall asleep and wake up with a mind brimming with ideas. Other times it takes more effort where I often stare at a blank piece of paper almost afraid to mark it. What if my ideas are bad? What if nothing makes sense? What if I make a mistake? What if the world ends? Eventually, I stumble upon an idea just by asking questions. If the world ends, as we know it, then what happens after? What would life be like?

Though I have been writing for some time now, I still feel quite new. There is so much to learn but the way I see it, I have my whole life to explore it. One day at a time I will conquer my demons, rescue my idling ideas, and seek inspiration in many forms. Writing is my life and my savior.