Melancholy and sorrowful...
Depressed and gloomy...
What brings us here and how can we recover? Sometimes there is no choice but to trudge through the darkness and the clawing thoughts of hurt. You face them, you hate them. You either accept them or forgive them.
I have not lived a perfect life. I am still fighting to find my soul, suppressed from many years of childhood torment. I sometimes feel the judging eyes of people, eating at me and tearing me apart. But every now and then, the light shines through the darkening clouds and it's just enough to give you hope to keep fighting. There is a light, whether it be from the burning embers of our hearts or a flickering candle in someone's window or the warmth of the sun beating down on your face. There is a light.
Sometimes this light can be easily missed in the darkness. It can be hiding behind something, a memory or thought, and facing whatever obstacle is the only way to find it. There were times when the light was so well hidden that the only way to deal with the sorrow was to either write it out, or to sing. Singing might not be my best attribute but it gave me such a relief as the sorrow poured out of me. The light filled me and hope was renewed. "I am beautiful, I am smart, I don't have to listen to what anyone says about me, I am my own savior."
As long as I keep chanting my soul can finally come back, little by little, piece by piece. The torment I suffered will no longer hold me in its clutches, I will be free. Hope, is not something that can be easily attained, and sometimes you have to work for it. Like anything in life, if you want it bad enough, you have to keep pushing forward. I usually like to think of every successful person that has inspired me. How they overcame the obstacles in their lives and eventually the light they sought after, they were finally able to touch it. Someday, that will be me. Bathing in the warmth of the light.
Anything worth fighting for takes work, even hope and happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment