Thoughts v 1.2

The winter is supposedly coming to an end...

I mean, it's already a declared spring but...

Why is there still snow on the ground?  Sure, today it's finally starting to melt but we just passed another winter storm.  The sun is bright and it feels like the light emanating off of the glassy snow is slowly burning my indoor accustomed eyes out.  No! Not my gamer eyes!!

Dear Sun,

Please don't scorch my eyes out! I am an avid gamer and though I do appreciate all of the good that you do, such as keep the Earth warm and provide us with nourishment, I would like to keep my eyes just a little bit longer!

Sincerely yours truly,

Gummy Bear [insert smiley face and hearts here]

I guess it's not the sun's fault.  I mean it's just doing its job!

Dear Sun,

I apologize for my original outburst. It was uncalled for. You are truly awesome, so please don't go away!! Melt the snow, give us plenty of daffodils and keep rocking on! 

You da best!

Sincerely yours truly,

Gummy Bear [insert awesome smiley face here]

Well, looking on the positive side of things, the snow on the ground is just at the right consistency to make an awesome snow fort! Ah, the good old days when I was young and less decrepit. For all of you young people out there, enjoy those days while they last! They don't last forever! [Sincerely yours truly, Gummy Bear] :P

Gummified Chipmunk Rage

Video Game of the Day!!!

Today is the day to kill some mutants...

To defeat the Authority...

And to just drive around the wastelands of Rage! I absolutely love this game. I enjoy how it looks and it runs smoothly on my computer. I like the story and the new DLC "The Scorchers", however, the boss was killer! They gave you a really pretty rocket launcher which helped, but, with me being pretty noob about it, wasted the rockets by hitting the wrong targets...mmhmm...

Part of the DLC "The Scorchers".  Scope shot of the suns rays peeking through a narrow passage of ruins.

I have had this game since it was released on October 4, 2011 by Bethesda and id Software and I have yet to finish it! When it was first released, I played it religiously after work and got to point in the game where my computer decided that I have had enough. After losing my saved games I decided to just take a break from it. Now it is the time to start a fresh and to finish the game!

Looking back, I remember that there were some issues with the game but now playing through again, the issues are mostly resolved.  They better be after having years to fix them! Still, there are some buggy bits like enemies falling through the floor, or in multiplayer, holes that should be covered or blocked are still open.

This guy died and then proceeded to dance around in the ground! It was like watching "The Exorcist"

Multiplayer: "The Black Hole"

Despite the faults of the game, I am still eager to finish it. Though, we'll see how long it takes me because of recent events I discovered a way to make loads of money and have infinite ammo...it's time consuming but worth it! Don't worry! It's not a hack or bug, it's just a mini game that satisfies my need to gamble! Lol

Video Games - "Still a Boys Only Club"

Girls in an all boys world...

Obstacles in words...

I feel like I have been playing video games since the dawn of Atari and over the years as online gaming became popular, females who have had an itch to play a game were often scrutinized, belittled, stereotyped, or just plain sexually harassed. I can speak from experience that this is still an ongoing battle.

"Girls don't play video games!", "Shut up you prepubescent kid!", "Get off the game and get back in the kitchen!", or an even more common comment, "Suck my cock, bitch!"

I am not a feminist, I am not ugly, and I am definitely not trying to get attention. I am only playing the game for my personal enjoyment, a stress release from the daily grind, to beat my own personal scores, or to finally nab that achievement. Isn't that what gaming is all about?

Sure, I do come across some females that are looking for attention, or a boyfriend, but for the most part we already have a significant other or just enjoy being single. Our lives don't revolve around sex, simply put, and it's even more of a turn off when a guy in the game treats you like a piece of meat. However, not all of the blame can be put on guys. Girls can easily take part in harassment with "territorial disputes". These girls need to be the queen bee of the colony and quite frankly, these girls are shaming our gender. They encourage sexual harassment as they seek attention, and once they've won the love from the lobby they get defensive when another girl joins. On many occasions, once I opened my mouth to speak, a girl would suddenly turn feral on me. Nothing but a hissing and cursing jealousy would spout out for all to hear. She would continue to yell at me until I either left or established myself at the top of the female hierarchy. Sometimes the only way to get her to stop hissing at me would be to make her rage quit. Oh well, another girl lost to the queen bee syndrome.

Girls may never be accepted 100% but maybe, we will be allowed to play a game without facing the verbal abuse from anyone, male or female. After all, a game is just a game. It's not a dating site it's just a means to entertain. 

Thoughts v 1.1

Melancholy and sorrowful...

Depressed and gloomy...

What brings us here and how can we recover? Sometimes there is no choice but to trudge through the darkness and the clawing thoughts of hurt. You face them, you hate them. You either accept them or forgive them. 

I have not lived a perfect life.  I am still fighting to find my soul, suppressed from many years of childhood torment. I sometimes feel the judging eyes of people, eating at me and tearing me apart. But every now and then, the light shines through the darkening clouds and it's just enough to give you hope to keep fighting. There is a light, whether it be from the burning embers of our hearts or a flickering candle in someone's window or the warmth of the sun beating down on your face. There is a light.

Sometimes this light can be easily missed in the darkness. It can be hiding behind something, a memory or thought, and facing whatever obstacle is the only way to find it. There were times when the light was so well hidden that the only way to deal with the sorrow was to either write it out, or to sing. Singing might not be my best attribute but it gave me such a relief as the sorrow poured out of me. The light filled me and hope was renewed. "I am beautiful, I am smart, I don't have to listen to what anyone says about me, I am my own savior."

As long as I keep chanting my soul can finally come back, little by little, piece by piece. The torment I suffered will no longer hold me in its clutches, I will be free. Hope, is not something that can be easily attained, and sometimes you have to work for it. Like anything in life, if you want it bad enough, you have to keep pushing forward. I usually like to think of every successful person that has inspired me. How they overcame the obstacles in their lives and eventually the light they sought after, they were finally able to touch it. Someday, that will be me. Bathing in the warmth of the light.

Anything worth fighting for takes work, even hope and happiness.

Thoughts v 1.0

Trying to get motivated...

Can be tough unless you think it through... maybe...

It is serene and silent watching the snow falling gracefully from the gray clouds above Longueuil. There is not much of a wind, and people have refrained from leaving the warmth of there homes as much as possible. Today, I imagine, is a perfect day for sledding and sipping hot chocolate with mini marshmallows or snuggling up with a fuzzy blanket, a couple of cats, and a good book. But a penny (wait, the penny is phased out...a nickel?) is not earned by sitting around, we must strive to put food on the table, a roof over our heads. Fun fun!